What If?
by A Sirius Crush On Moony
Summary: What if the Marauders reacted badly to Remus being a werewolf? 'What if' challenge by xXKissingSinXx
1. Chapter 1

**For the challenge "What if?" by xXKissingSinXx**

**My prompt was: What if the Marauders reacted badly to Remus being a werewolf?**

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><p>It was now or never. I could let them figure it out and hate me or I could just tell them, and then I could at least say that I didn't keep it a secret from them. I was pretty sure they'd understand though, they had always been there for me before, so why not now? Still, it was a nerve-racking thought. I bit my lip as Sirius entered the room. Now the three of them were all in the same room at the same time, I could try and tell them.<p>

"Hey guys?" I asked timidly. James, Sirius and Peter all turned to look at me.

"What?" asked James.

"I have something to tell you," I said slowly, avoiding eye contact. Sirius was sitting on the edge of my bed within the next second, grinning at me.

"Secrets, eh?" He said, nudging me. "Who is it? Who's the lucky girl?"

I sighed. This was going to be difficult. "There's not a girl."

"A guy?" he asked, shocked.

"No. I mean there's nobody. It's a different kind of secret."

"What is it then?" asked James, who was now making his way over to my bed, accompanied with Peter.

"You have to all promise me that you won't hate me forever," I said. My heart was beating so fast and hard that it felt as if it was about to burst out of my chest.

"We promise," said Peter, smiling at me reassuringly. I nodded, and took a deep breath.

"I don't visit my mum every month," I started.

"Then where do you go?" asked James.

"I'm not like everyone else."

"How?" asked Sirius, looking quite interested.

"I don't know if I can say it," my voice broke.

"Aw, c'mon Remus!" James said. "You got us all excited."

"It's not something to get excited about. It's something to be disgusted about. Something you'll hate me for." I said, looking down.

"Can't be that bad," Sirius said.

"Trust me, it is."

"Just tell us Remus," Peter said impatiently.

"Fine," I gave in. I'd never get them off my back otherwise. "I'm a.. a w-werewolf," I said in barely a whisper. I saw the same expression on all of my friends faces; disgust and shock.

After a few seconds, Sirius spoke. "A _what_?"

"You heard what he said," James replied, staring at me as if I was a monster (not that I wasn't one anyway).

"I'm sorry," I pleaded, leaning closer to them. Sirius backed away, repulsed.

"Don't touch me," he said angrily.

"But, you said you wouldn't hate me," I said desperately trying to fight back the tears.

"Yeah, well... That was before you told us you were a... a... MONSTER!" James shouted.

"I can't help it," I said, looking at Peter in hope he'd understand.

"Why're you looking at me, freak?" He sneered. It was as if my whole world crashed down.

"Y-y-you guys d-don't want to be my friend any m-m-more?" I asked, now with tears rolling down my face.

"Do we need to answer that?" Sirius asked, walking back to his own bed.

"Fine," I said, defeated. "But you mustn't tell anyone."

"Why not?"

"Because I could be killed if people find out there's a... _werewolf_ at Hogwarts," I said looking at them.

"Is that a bad thing? You should all be killed! Blood-thirsty monsters!" James said angrily.

"I've never hurt anyone," I said.

"_Yet_," Peter added.

"Bet you were waiting on the right time to attack us all? If you didn't want us dead , you wanted us to join your disgusting pack?" Sirius accused. I blinked. Was that what he really thought of me?

"B-but you were my first friends."

"And your last," James sniggered. I gave up. I pulled my curtains together and threw the covers over myself.

"S-silencio," I mumbled, to block out the nasty things my friends – well, "ex-friends" were saying about me. I closed my eyes, and tried to pretend that it wasn't real. I tried to pretend that I'd never told them. They couldn't only ruin my friendship, but they could get me put in Azkaban, or worse, I could be killed.

Didn't they understand that it wasn't _my_ fault that I became this _monster_? Like I actually want to transform into a murderous creature every single month... I don't exactly find it fun to tear myself to shreds because I don't want to hurt people. And to think Sirius thought I'd want to attack him! Them! I'd never dream of hurting them, they were the greatest people I'd ever met. Well, until now, of course.

I cried myself to sleep, dreading the horrors of tomorrow morning, hoping with all hopes that maybe I'd get to stay at Hogwarts, and maybe I was pushing it to hope that my friends would be my friends again.

**Wondering whether to do it multi-chap or not?**

**Opinions? Review please!**


	2. Chapter 2

**So I've decided I'll do this fic in three chapters, so here's chapter 2 :) I've changed the rating for this fic too, to T (for mild swearing and violence)**

**Hope you enjoy!**

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><p>It was the next morning, and I'd already sneaked down early, to avoid James, Sirius and Peter. I just couldn't face them. My heart was racing rapidly; the feeling of naiveness to the my future. What was going to happen to me? Would I die? Would it be painful? I sat, staring down at my food, not touching it.<p>

"Mr Lupin?"

I looked up to see Professor McGonagall staring down at me worriedly.

"Are you OK? You don't look very well..."

"I'm OK," I said, but my breaking voice betrayed me.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes Professor," I said, trying not to cry. She gave me one last look, and walked away. I sighed, and decided I wasn't going to eat today. I felt nauseous. My nauseousness grew as I spotted three figures entering the Great Hall, unmistakably James, Sirius and Peter. I let my eyes drop down to look at the table.

"No animals at the table," said James, sitting down as far away from me as possible. I ignored him, looking back at my untouched food.

"Are werewolves deaf or something?" Sirius sneered. I was trying so hard not to let a tear fall, but it was becoming very difficult.

"I think they are... Look at it, just sitting there as if it can't here us," Peter said quietly, but apparently not quiet enough to escape my hearing. I was now an 'it' to them? Why couldn't they accept me? I had definitely taken it for granted that I'd had friends for a small amount of my life.

"Is it crying?" asked James, peering over at me. I clenched my fists.

"Ooh, look! It's getting angry!" Sirius said cheerfully. I couldn't remember much except my fist making contact with Sirius's face, and a scream from him.

"Why the hell did you do that?"

"Because I don't like what you're saying about me!" I shouted.

"Why should it matter?" asked James. "You don't have feelings, you're a filthy animal... a monster. Monsters don't have feelings!"

"I _do_ have feelings! I thought you guys were my friends!" I said angrily. I felt Sirius punch me back, but no pain came.

"What the hell?" Sirius asked, noticing I wasn't it pain.

"I'm stronger than you," I said, sighing when I saw the look on Peter's face.

"You're such a... a _freak_!" he shouted. Evidently, the noise from the Great Hall had caused a crowd to appear by the door. I hoped desperately that none of them would mention the 'werewolf' part while everyone was standing there.

"What's going on?" asked Lily, making her way towards them. James stepped in front of her.

"Don't step any closer to him," he said, pointing at me. Lily looked confused.

"Why? He looks upset. Remus?" she asked softly. I didn't answer, just stared at her helplessly.

"He's a monster. You don't want to go near him if you don't want to get eaten," Sirius warned. I saw the confusion in Lily's eyes.

"What do you mean?"

"He's a werewolf!" James shouted. "A nasty evil werewolf!" I was aware of the gasps from the crowd. I could feel my body shaking, this was my worst nightmare coming true. Everyone had heard. I started crying.

"Leave him alone! Do you think he can help being a werewolf? Did he tell you he was one?" Lily asked James, walking towards me and hugging me. I cried into her shoulder.

"Yeah, he told us last night," Peter said.

"Then he trusted you! You're all nasty bastards!" She shouted angrily. James expression changed suddenly.

"Oh! I'm only kidding Remus! I accept you!" he said, smiling falsely and slinging a hesitant arm around me.

"Get off!" I said furiously, pushing his arm away. "You're only saying that because Lily called you a a bastard."

"Lily, you believe me don't you? Don't you believe I accept him?" James asked, staring at Lily lovingly.

"Grow up, Potter," she spat. "C'mon Remus," she added, pulling me away.

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><p>I vaguely remember being pulled through the crowd hearing remarks like "werewolf?", "monster!" and "die!" We arrived by Professor McGonagall's office.<p>

"You need to speak to McGonagall, Remus. Since everyone's found out," she said sadly, giving my arm a squeeze. I nodded, trying not to cry again. "Remus, it'll be OK, I promise," she said, giving me a small smile. I smiled back.

"Thanks, Lily," I said, knocking on the door, as she waved and walked away. In a few moments, the door opened, and Professor McGonagall stepped forward.

"Mr Lupin? Shouldn't you be down at breakfast?" she asked. I sighed.

"Professor, everyone found out about.. about _me_," I said quietly. Her eyes widened, and her expression became a lot more serious.

"How did they find out?" she asked.

"I thought I could trust James, Sirius and Peter," I said. "They all took it badly, and they told everyone in the Great Hall."

"This isn't good," she commented. "I'll have to speak to Professor Dumbledore. Would it be better for you to stay in your room today?"

"Yes please," I said. She smiled at me reassuringly. "I promise we'll fix this."

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><p><strong>Please <em>please<em> review! :D**


	3. Chapter 3

**This _was_ going to be the final chapter, but I decided I'd split it into two.. so heres chapter 3 :)**

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><p>I'd been in my room for days. I hadn't once spoken to James, Sirius or Peter, though they'd spoken to me – calling me names and making fun of me. I wasn't sure how much more I could take of it. It really hurt me inside. I'd lost all three of my best friends because of something I couldn't help. It was almost like racism. How people were discriminated for the colour of their skin, when they didn't choose it, and they can't help it. That's me. I didn't <em>choose<em> to become a werewolf. I hate being a werewolf!

"Hey Wolfie?" called James nastily. I clenched my fists and opened my curtains, putting on a horrible false smile.

"Yes?" I asked.

"Dumbledore. Want. To. Talk. To. You. Do you understand me?" he asked in a slow monotone.

"Fuck you James," I said angrily, getting out of bed and storming towards the door.

"Remus?" said Sirius. I sighed.

"What?" I said, gritting my teeth.

"Farewell!"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you're off to die aren't you?"

"I.."

"Oh look! The animal is trying to talk!" squealed Peter. Sirius and James sniggered.

"I hate you! I hate all of you! I thought I had the most wonderful, amazing friends but it turns out you're all bastards! I can't believe I ever thought you would accept me for who I am!" I screamed.

"You hate me?" asked Sirius with tears in his eyes. I hesitated.

"Y-Yeah, I do!"

"Well I hate you too! I hate all monsters! I honestly don't know why they haven't killed you yet," Sirius laughed. "And you thought I was upset. It's called acting... something that humans do, you know? I wouldn't expect you to understand."

"Can you please get out of our room? We don't allow animals in here," James said impatiently.

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><p>I walked out of the room, slamming the door shut behind me, making it fall off of its hinges. I screamed furiously, and made my way downstairs. Everyone turned to look at me, some sneering, some pointing, some laughing, some flinching. I spotted Lily, who came running towards me, pulling me into a hug.<p>

"Remus? Are you all right? Ignore them all," she said pulling me towards the door.

"I.. Umm, Dumbledore wants to speak to me," I said quietly.

"C'mon then, I'll take you up there," she answered politely.

"Thanks for being so kind to me Lily," I said, looking into her eyes. "You're the only person who understands."

"It's OK. I think it's absolutely terrible how everyone is treating you! You don't deserve it at all!"

"Yeah," I replied glumly, looking down at my feet. As we approached Dumbledore's office, he appeared by the Gargoyle, ready to let me in.

"Well, I hope everything will be fine Remus. See you in a bit," Lily said, leaning forward and planting a small kiss on my cheek. I felt myself blushing, and smiled.

"Thanks," I mumbled, as she smiled and walked back down the corridor. I headed over to the office, where Dumbledore was standing.

"Remus, we have some very bad news," Dumbledore said, as I sat down on the chair in front of his desk.

"B-Bad news?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady.

"Well, as everyone has found out that you're a werewolf, the Ministry has been informed, by myself and angry parents."

"And?" I asked, both wanting to hear the next sentence and wanting to run and hide in my bed.

"The Ministry has decided they want to take care of the matter," he said slowly, looking straight into my eyes.

"What do they want to do?" I asked.

"They've arranged an execution to take place tomorrow Remus," he said sadly. My eyes widened.

"An execution?"

"I'm terribly sorry Remus. We never _ever_wanted this."

"I'm going to die because of them?" I shouted angrily, thinking of James, Sirius and Peter who would be tucked up in their beds smug that they'd killed me. Their ex-best friend.

"We're doing our best to fight for you Remus, and we're trying to postpone the execution. The other alternative is Azkaban."

"Azkaban? I'd rather be executed, thankyou very much!"

"Calm down please, Remus."

"Calm down? I'm about to die, and you want me to calm down? What did I do to deserve to be killed! I don't deserve it!" I screamed, with tears in my eyes. I broke down and started crying.

"Remus, the Minister of Magic would like you to come with me. You'll be held at the Ministry until tomorrow morning."

"I won't go!"

"Yes you will, I'm afraid. Don't worry though, all of the teachers at this school will be fighting for you."

"I don't want to," I cried.

"I know it sounds harsh, but you'll be OK. I promise."

"You promise?" I asked.

"Yes."

"Ok, I'll go with you," I said, trusting the old man.

"Thank you. We'll leave now by Floo," Dumbledore said, leading me towards the grand fireplace on the left side of his office. He grabbed a handful of Floo Powder and handed it to me. I took a deep breath.

"Ministry of Magic," I spoke, loud and clearly. I was engulfed by the flames.

I knew it would be all right. Lily had promised, Professor McGonagall had promised and Dumbledore had promised. Wasn't that enough to know that I had people on my side to defend me? I believed it. That was the only reason I agreed to go to the Ministry of Magic. My teachers would stand up for me and make sure I don't get punished for something I can't help. I trust them. Is I feel myself entering the Ministry of Magic, I get a warm wave of relief that everything _will_ be all right, and I'll be back to school by September. I might even get a chance with Lily, after what happened in the corridors. I smiled, and awaited the coming morning.

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><p><strong>As always, please leave me a review if you liked it... or even if you didn't.. constructive criticism! ;D<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**Man, I have been incredibly lazy with this fic. It's almost been TWO MONTHS since I last updated. That is pathetic. I had writer's block, and I thought this is definitely one of the fics I needed to update. **

**Here's the last chapter:**

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><p>For my whole life, I had always believed that by making a promise, you were committing yourself to keeping that promise. It was like a binding contract, and nothing – <em>nothing<em> could break that promise.

I'd never broken a promise to anyone. My only fault was being too trusting.

I trusted James, Sirius and Peter when they promised me that they wouldn't hate me when they found out what I was. They let me down. They broke their promise. They ruined my life.

I trusted Lily when she said it would be OK, but she let me down. It wasn't OK. I was sentenced to death.

I trusted Professor McGonagall when she told me she'd fix this mess. She was wrong. She let me down. She couldn't fix it.

I trusted Professor Dumbledore when he told me I'd be OK, but he let me down. I wasn't OK.

I trusted my mother when she told me that promises weren't to be broken. I trusted her, but she let me down. All of the promises people had ever made to me were broken.

Promises _are_ meant to be broken, my friends _do_ hate me, it _isn't_ OK, nobody _can_ fix it, and I'm _not_ OK.

I'm dying. They're letting me die. I can't even bring myself to cry. I'm angry.

Everyone broke their promises to me, and now I have to pay for it. I have to pay for the one mistake I made.

I was always too trusting, and now there's a price.

I don't even know what to think any more. Who _can_ I actually trust? Nobody. I die, knowing that I never had anyone who I could trust. I die as a lonely _werewolf_. I guess that's all I am.

A monster.

Maybe that's why they all broke their promises. Nobody loves a dark creature like me.

That is my last thought as I feel the silver axe cut through me. Darkness engulfs me.

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><p><strong>So, there you are. I felt like to most evil, cruel, mean, nasty, horrible person in the world having to kill poor Remus :'( I love him so much, but it's just the way it had to be.<strong>

**I thank everyone who reviewed this fic XD You guys are awesome.**

**Now that I think about it... if James, Sirius and Peter really didn't accept him as a werewolf, things would be _completely _different. Say it follows this story, they would never have become animagi, and then Peter would never have escaped, and would have been sent to Azkaban. Then, Sirius would have probably brought up Harry and Voldy might not have been brought back to life (because Peter would still be in Azkaban).**

**But****... then again, Lily may never get with James after what he did to poor Rem, so then Harry would never be born and then there would be no story D:**

**See, Remus being a werewolf really is a big part of the HP series haha**

**Sorry, I'm waffling XDD Hope you enjoyed the story :D**


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